Medieval Pick-Up Lines

- "Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"

- "Been there, slain that."

- "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

- "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."

- "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."

- "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chamber floor."

- Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding."

- "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"

- "Your hovel or mine?"

- "Pardon me, madam, but wouldst thou like to see my long sword in action?"

- "Dost thou practice safe hex?"

- "Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."

- "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."

- "You should be glad I'm not a Viking."

- "You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."

- "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"

- "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"

- "You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!"

- "I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"

- "My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."

- "I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?"

- "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down."

- "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."

- "C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away."

- "I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"