A priest is giving confession one afternoon. He has to use the bathroom and can't hold it any longer. He peeks out of the confessional and, thankfully, sees Mike, the maintenence man.
"Psst, hey Mike, come here."
"Yes, Father, what can I do for you?"
"Well", said the priest, "I have to use the bathroom in the worst kind of way. Can you please sit in for me while I'm gone? It's been a slow day anyways and I doubt anyone will need confession while I'm gone."
"Oh Father, I don't think I can do this." said Mike.
"I'm begging you. I would not ask had it not be an emergency." pleaded the priest.
"Ok Father, I'll do it. But, what do I do in case someone comes in for confession?"
"No problem, Mike. Just listen to what they say, tell them to go out and say a couple Our Father's and Hail Mary's then send them on their way."
"Ok Father, but hurry back."
Sure enough, as soon as the priest leaves someone enters the confessional!
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I had anal sex." they confessed.
"Oh my God, what do I do now?" thought Mike.
Panicking, Mike opened the door and looked out the confessional hoping, praying he'd see Father.
No Father but, ah ha!, an altar boy was approaching!
"Hey kid, come here, quick. Listen, what does Father give for anal sex?"
The altar boy looks at Mike and says "He usually gives me a Snickers and a Coke."
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