The three men, friendly rivals, decide among themselves that what this bear needs to be soothed is some religion, so they declare it a contest to see who can convert it. They draw straws, and the Catholic priest is the first to try.
He heads into the woods, and comes back three hours later with a few claw swipes across his face and hands, and tells the other two, "I read from the Catechism, and the bear seemed to enjoy that, but when I sprinkled him with holy water, he tried to maul me, and I ran!"
The Protestant minister is the second to go, and he's gone all evening, meeting his friends the next afternoon, with a bandage around his head and a broken leg. He says to them, "I found the bear by the river, and I preached to him from God's holy word, and he was as gentle as a lamb, until I tried to baptize him in the river; he nearly bit my head off and I had to bolt for my life!"
Lastly went the Jewish Rabbi, off into the woods. His friends hear nothing from him for two days, until they receive the word that he's in hospital. They rush over to find him in the ICU, a cast covering most of his body, and vicious wounds all over the rest of him. They frantically ask him what happened, and between laboured breaths through the ventilator, he mutters, "You know, thinking about it, I probably shouldn't've opened with the circumcision.."
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