ONe of his old friends happens to be in this same bar and immediately calls to him, "Hey, Cap'n! Long time no see! You seem rough, care to explain?"
The captain explains his leg first. "I lost a bet in a gambling, and I had to get into a cannon to be launched into the sea. One of my men got too excited and lit the thing before I was all the way into the cannon."
The friend nods and the captain continues.
"As for my hand, I had to swordfight another captain when he raided my ship, after stalking it for a week at sea after we dug up a large chest of doubloons. It was a long battle but in the end, my crew and I were victorious, the only loss was gunpowder and my hand."
"What about your eyepatch?"
"A seagull dropped a white one as I looked to the skies with my golden scope."
"So THAT'S why you have an eyepatch?"
"Nah, it was my first day with the hook."
That was my first joke to /r/jokes . I hope it was entertaining! I'm sure the real version of this joke is floating around out there, this is just my interpretation of it from when I heard it on a vague radio show when I was 7 years old.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.