A Pirate captain is on the high seas with his crew. Suddenly, his first mate comes running up to him in a panic. "Captain! Five British warships have been spotted! They are headed directly for us, battle is inevitable." The captain strokes his grizzled beard and replies, "Bring me my red shirt!" The first mate is puzzled but obliges. He returns with the shirt, which the captain puts on. "Why do you want your red shirt captain?" "Because, in the upcoming battle, I don't want me crew to see me bleeding from any wounds I may suffer. The red shirt will help hide that!" The pirates do battle with the Brits and miraculously, they win and live to sail another day. A few weeks later the first mate comes running up to the captain again. "Captain! Twenty British warships have been spotted! They are heading directly for us!" The captain ponders for a minute, then says, "Bring me my brown pants!"
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