Saint Peter was right outside heaven's gate, sitting on his little wooden desk. In front of him, there was a queue of freshly arrived souls waiting to be approved into heaven.
Saint Peter saw a man on the queue who was particularly upset; grunting and throwing fist on the air. When he got to the desk he firmly claimed it was a mistake and demanded to be brought back to life to his beloved wife, children and cats (while banging his fists on the table).
Saint Peter calmly checked his files and figured out this man was actually right, the angels of death had made a mistake. The man protested, he wanted to live again. Saint Peter told him it was impossible, but had on offer at hand for him: he could come back to the world... as an animal, not a human.
He could choose any animal he wanted.
The man thought about it, he didn't wanted to be an ugly nasty cockroach, neither a tiger since he would have to fight. He went for a spider. A tiny, insignificant spider.
ABRACADABRA
The miracle was made, and now he was a spider at the top of the tree. He was amused. He wanted to make a web, so started pushing it out of his ass. PUSH... again, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH...
And suddenly, a voice: "HONEY, WAKE UP, YOU SHIT YOUR FUCKING PANTS!! OH MY GOD, ALL OVER THE BED!!!"
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