A Mini Wheat's story of success

Once there was a Mini Wheat. He always wanted to accomplish something significant in his life, but he felt like he couldn't, because he was simply a normal Mini Wheat.

One day, the Mini Wheat was walking down the street when he saw a frosted Mini Wheat. "Wow," the Mini Wheat thought, "That guy looks really successful! I wanna be like him!"

So the Mini Wheat approaches the frosted Mini Wheat and asks, "How do I become a frosted mini wheat like you?"

The frosted Mini Wheat replies, "You have to go without eating for an entire day."

"I can do that," says the Mini Wheat. And he does: he practices his self restraint, and goes without food for a day, and BOOM, he becomes a frosted Mini Wheat.

Now the Mini Wheat was more successful than he had ever been, but he wanted more. Out his window, he spotted a strawberry frosted Mini Wheat, and he rushed outside to meet him.

"Hello, sir!" The mini wheat said, "You must be really important. How do I get to be like you?"

The strawberry frosted Mini Wheat replies, "You have to go without eating for three days."

"I think I can do that," says the Mini Wheat.

So he puts aside all temptations, buckles down, and fasts for three days. And at the end of three days, BANG, he becomes a strawberry frosted Mini Wheat.

Now the Mini Wheat is much happier. He has a well-paying job, a nice house, and he's even found a girlfriend with which to share his good fortune. But when he's walking down the street, wearing his expensive clothes and stylish shades, he comes across a blueberry frosted Mini Wheat.

"Wow," says the Mini Wheat, "I want to be like that guy! Just LOOK at how RICH he is!"

So the Mini Wheat approaches the blueberry frosted Mini Wheat and asks, "How do I get to be as amazingly successful as you?"

The blueberry frosted Mini Wheat tells him, "You have to go without eating for a week."

"That'll be tough," the Mini Wheat thought, "but I bet I could do it!"

So he stuffs himself with food and then sits around his house without eating for a week. And at the end of a week, BAM, he becomes a blueberry frosted Mini Wheat.

Now the Mini Wheat possessed more than he could have ever dreamed. He owned a small company, had a luxurious house, drove a fancy sports car, and was the biggest chick magnet at the bar.

And yet he still wasn't satisfied, so when he saw a chocolate frosted Mini Wheat walking down the street, accompanied by his servants and bodyguards, he had to ask him, "How could I become as popular and as famous as you?"

The chocolate frosted Mini Wheat replied, "You have to go without eating for a full month."

This was a challenge that the little Mini Wheat was not so sure he could complete. A month was, needless to say, a long time to go without food. But he figured he'd give it a try, because he really wanted to be as important as the chocolate frosted Mini Wheat before him.

So, one month later, the hungry and emaciated Mini Wheat finally turned into a chocolate frosted mini wheat.

Upon his transformation, the Mini Wheat found himself in a world of unbelievable class. He attended all the fancy parties, he showed up in magazines and TV shows, and his company grew to financial greatness.

But there was one level of social status that the Mini Wheat still had yet to achieve, and an opportunity for this presented itself when he spotted a Big Wheat being thronged by people on the street.

The Mini Wheat rushed outside and elbowed his way through the crowd to get to the Big Wheat. Over the tumult, he yelled out, "All my life I've been a Mini Wheat. How can I become a Big Wheat like you?"

The Big Wheat heard him over the din and replied, "You have to go without eating for an entire year."

The Mini Wheat's heart fell when he heard this. Surely he couldn't go a full YEAR without eating! He would die!

But this meant enough to the Mini Wheat that he was willing to try. So once again, he ate all the food he could, and settled down for a hibernation. Six months passed, then nine, then ten...the Mini Wheat was hungry, but he felt like he could make it.

Finally, FINALLY, after one painfully long year, the Mini Wheat awoke from his slumber to find that he was no longer a Mini Wheat: he was now, a Big Wheat.

Soon, the ex-Mini Wheat became the mayor of the city, a huge figure in popular culture, and his business grew to a global scale. He bought office buildings around the world, and even had a skyscraper to call his home.

He had one of his frosted Mini Wheat butlers show him around his new skyscraper, explaining all the services and luxuries at his disposal.

"Here, you'll find the movie theater, and on your left is the pool," the butler said. "Beyond that is the bowling alley, the spa, and the cafeteria, down at the end."

They stepped out into the cafeteria, where different counters all sold different drinks. "Any of those drinks you want, you can have," the butler told the Big Wheat. "You won't have to pay for them, but you will have to wait in line."

"Wow," the Big Wheat said, "I can have ANY of these drinks? Whenever I want?"

"Yes," the butler chuckled. He gestured around the room. "As you can see, there's a line for soda, a line for coffee, a line for beer, a line for milk..."

"What about Punch?" The Big Wheat asked. "I like punch. It reminds me of all the fruity flavors I've gone through to reach where I am today."

The butler glanced around the room for a moment, and then shook his head. "Im sorry, sir," he said, "There's no punch line."