A middle-aged woman saves money...

...for a plastic surgery. She wants to have a facelift. Finally, the big day arrives on her 47th birthday. It costs 5,000 dollars, but she feels like it was worth it. Her face is extremely beautiful and young again.

She wants to test it, though, so she goes for a walk in the city centre. She stops at the post office and asks the employee:

"Don't take this the wrong way, but how old do you think I am?"

"Let's say 32" comes the answer.

"I'm exactly 47!" says the woman with a happy smile.

A little later she goes to McDonald's and asks the same thing at the cashier.

"I'd say around 29."

"No, no. I'm 47!"

She progressively feels better and better about herself. She goes to the bank, where she has some things to clear up, but can't stop herself from asking the employee:

"How old do you think I am?"

"Around 30."

"I'm 47, but it's really nice of you" says the woman proudly.

At the bus stop, she's waiting with an elderly man. She asks the ominous question yet again. The old man answers:

"Dear lady, I'm 78 and my sight is not what it used to be. However, when I was young, there was a technique thanks to which I immediately knew the exact age of the woman in question. This will sound cheeky, but I need you to let me grab your breasts. That's how I'll be able to tell your exact age!"

The woman looks around. The street is entirely empty and she's really curious about the old man's answer, so she says:

"What the hell, go for it!"

The old man puts both hands under the woman's blouse and grabs her breasts. He squeezes softly. After a few minutes, the woman loses her patience and says:

"Soooo? Can you tell how old I am?"

"Of course. You're exactly 47."

"Unbelievable! How the hell did you know?" asks the woman completely abashed.

"I was standing behind you at McDonald's..."

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