A middle-aged Jew goes into a confessional

He sits down and the priest says "Why are you here, my son?"

The man says "Father, I'm a 53-year-old accountant, I'm short, balding, and overweight. Last night I had wild, passionate sex with a gorgeous blonde college cheerleader."

The priest looks at the partition, puzzled. "Chaim Goldstein?" he asks. "You're Jewish - why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling EVERYBODY!"

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