A man was walking home from a bar

A man was walking home from a bar after he’d had a few pints when suddenly he starts hearing a banging noise behind him. Glancing back he imagines that he can see something in the distance but thinks nothing of it and continues on his way home.

Walking round the bend of the street to his house he hears the banging coming closer and again looks behind and sees that he’s being followed by a bouncing coffin. Thinking he must have had one too many in the pub he decides to hurry home, lock the door and hit the hay.

Upon getting home, the coffin appears again, much more real, and starts following him up his garden path. From inside his house the man hears a BANG BANG CRAAASH and the coffin comes right through his door. Shitting himself the man runs up the stairs (everyone knows a coffin can’t make it up stairs), but sure enough he hears BANG THUD, BAND THUD, all the way up the stairs.

He runs into his bedroom, and the coffin again breaks through his bedroom door. Terrified for his life, the man legs it into his bathroom, and starts barricading the door. Unfortunately the coffin won’t be stopped, so the man starts throwing everything he can at it from his cabinets to prevent it from getting to him. He throws his shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, painkillers, cough medicine – when FINALLY the coffin’ stops.

Don’t hate me.