and notices that there's an armless man bouncing and squirming in front of a urinal. He takes the only other urinal, which is right next to this odd armless fellow, and does his best to ignore him. The man pisses and the armless bounces. He finishes his buisness and begins to walk out when curiosity finally get the best of him.
"Are you ok" he asks
The armless man turns to him with a look of obvious distress on his face. "I'm about to piss myself and as you can see I've got a little problem. I'm ridiculously embarrassed to ask, but I would be so grateful if you could help me out here"
"Uhhh..what kind of help" the man asks
"Could you unzip my pants and pull my dick out so I can piss. You can see that I can do it myself and I'd be humiliated if I had to go back in the bar having pissed myself"
The man thinks for a second about how unfortunate this poor guy is. Maybe he's a wounded soldier or a victim of some terrible accident. He's definitely not too excited about touching another mans dick, but figures that the bathroom is empty so no one would probably know anyway.
"Sure" he says and unzips the armless mans pants and pulls out his dick.
The armless man is euphoric at finally getting to piss, but our hero can't help but notice that the guys dick is absolutely disgusting. It's covered in oozing scabs and smells like zombie shit. As the armless man pisses, the man rushes to the sink to wash his hands.
"Wait" says the armless man. "I need you to help me put it back in. I can't walk out of here with my dick out"
The man is stunned. He doesn't want to touch the Worlds Ugliest Dick again, but again he thinks about what could have happened to this poor man and how humiliated he must be to have to ask for a strangers help with this.
"Hurry up" our hero says as he tries to tuck the quasimodo or dicks back into the crippled mans pants. Good deed completed, he rushes to the sink and begins scrubbing his hands as the armless man thanks him and starts to walk out.
"Wait" the man says. "I know this is pretty rude, but I've got to know....what the fuck is wrong with your dick"
The armless man pulls his arms out of his shirt and says "Fuck if I know but I ain't touching it"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.