Man walks into a bar and sees $100 bills stapled all over the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "what's up with the bills?" Bartender says, "That's part of a bet we have going here. You have to complete three tasks, complete them all and the money is yours. First, see that guy in the corner that looks like Mike Tyson? You have to knock him out in one swing. After that, there is a dog that needs its tooth pulled out back. Last, there is an old woman upstairs that's never had sex, you have to take her virginity"
The man says, "I think I can do this, but to knock that guy out, I'm going to need a few drinks. Here's your hundred and my credit card, keep 'em coming." After the man gets pretty loaded, he goes over to the man in the corner and sizes him up, then decides he needs a few more drinks.
After another hour of drinking the man is fully loaded. He heads over to the big guy and slurs, "your mother gives good head" and knocks him out in one swing.
The other bar patrons cheer him on as the man heads outside to take care of the dog's tooth. A solid 20 minutes go by with the dog yelping and crying in the back. Finally, the man staggers back into the bar and asks "Now, where's the old woman that needs her tooth pulled?"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.