A man walks into a bar...

... and down the way is a guy staring into his drink, his head bright orange and the size of a beachball. The newcomer sits down at the bar and inclines his head at the one with the big orange head, whispering to the bartender, "What's up with that guy?"

The bartender says "Buy him a drink and he'll tell you himself."

So he buys a pint for the strange man and asks about his big orange head.

The man with the big orange head says "Well, it's a long story...

I was walking down the beach about a year ago when I saw an old brass lamp that had washed ashore. I picked it up and just as a kind of joke I decided to rub it. Well, who would've guessed, a genie popped out in a cloud of smoke.

The genie said, "Thank you for freeing me, mortal! I will grant you three wishes, but I caution you! Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!"

I brushed off the warning and right away I wished to be the richest man on Earth. The genie waved his hands and suddenly a massive beachfront mansion appears, piles of gold and money sprout from the sand around me, and the genie hands me the keys to a Ferrari.

So that one went pretty well, for my next wish I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world. The genie clapped his hands and out of the ocean strides the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, so beautiful I almost regretted wishing for her. I didn't deserve to look at that woman. I still don't.

Then the genie said, "You have one final wish!"

And this is probably where I made my mistake. I wished for a big orange head.