He uses the newspaper to cover what he is actually doing which is masturbating.
A little girl walks by and ask "What are you doing?"
The man replies "Playing with my little birdy."
The girl then asks "Can I play with your little birdy?"
The man says "No."
The girl then goes away and the man accidentally falls asleep.
He then wakes up in hospital. The little girl is with him.
He asks her "What happend?"
The girl replies "I was playing with your little birdy but then it spat at me so I broke it's neck and smashed it's eggs!"
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