He says, "Doctor, I woke up this morning with absolutely no idea what the hell happened last night! I staggered into the bathroom and looked down at my penis, and there is 3 different colored rings along the shaft! Is it an STD?! Is it an infection?! You've got to fix me up Doc!"
“Well sir let’s have a look” replies the doctor.
The man drops his pants and sure enough the doctor easily locates the rings. A red one, a purple one, and a brown one.
Wanting to run some quick tests, the doctor scrapes a little of the coloring from each ring into a vial. These are handed off to a nurse who rushes them to be tested.
“The results will only take a few minutes” says the doctor as he exits the exam room, “I will come back in as soon as they are ready.”
After nervously waiting for 15 minutes the doctor reenters the room.
“Well sir, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”
“Give the good, then the bad” the man replies as the sweat begins to bead on his forehead.
“The good news is that there is absolutely no health risk whatsoever! Both the red and purple rings are chemical matches to lipstick."
"That's great doc! I am so relieved to hear you say that!" the man exclaimed. "But wait, what's the bad news?"
"The bad news is the third brown ring was a combination of saliva and chewing tobacco.”
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