A man goes out drinking late every night with his friends. His wife finally says that if he comes home too drunk one more time she will leave him. The next night the man goes out with his friends and refuses to drink. However a very old friend surprises the group and starts buying shots and toasting the old days. One thing leads to another and the man ends up getting very drunk, so much so that he vomits on his shirt.
He starts to cry, saying "My wife will definitely know I was too drunk". His old friend tucks a $10 bill in his breast pocket and says, "Tell your wife a drunk man threw up on your shirt and felt so bad he gave you this $10 to get it cleaned". The man is elated and continues to have a great time out.
A few hours later the man returns home and his wife, seeing the vomit on his shirt, begins packing her bags. The man stops her, pulls the money out of his breast pocket, and says, "No it wasn't me! A drunk man at the bar threw up on me and then gave me this $10 bill to get it cleaned!" His wife believes the story, and as the man undresses for bed she picks up his slacks and finds another $10 bill in the right pocket. She says, "Where did you get this other $10?".
The man smiles smartly and says, "Oh the same guy that threw up on my shirt also shit in my pants!"
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