The man responds "well I'm late for my work".
"And what do you do that makes you think you can break the law to make a meeting"
"Well, officer I stretch assholes"
"You stretch assholes?! I have never heard of anything like that, how big do they get?"
"Well I start off small, first 1 inch, then 2, then I keep building up until they can't take it any more, sometimes up to 6 foot!"
"Dear god man, what would you do with a 6 foot asshole!?"
"Give him a badge and a gun and tell him to go waste someone's time."
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