A man gets lost hiking in

the Chinese forest in the middle of winter. After days without food or water, fighting the cold, he sees a large house in the distance. With the last bit of his strength he treks to the house and collapses on the front step after knocking on the door. An extremely old man answers the door and helps get the lost man inside the house for warmth. "Thank you so much." the hiker says. "If I could pay for you a meal, a night's stay, and directions back to the city, I'll be out of your way in the morning." The old man thinks for a second, and responds "You may have all of that, with the one condition that you don't lay a finger on my granddaughter. If you do, I'll have to perform three ancient Chinese torture tactics on you." The man, not thinking it will be a problem agrees.

The old man leads the hiker to a spare bedroom on the fourth floor of the house, tells him to shower and come down for dinner. The old man's granddaughter joined them for dinner, and sure enough, she was drop dead gorgeous. She flirted with him all through the meal.

As night fell, the man made every attempt to be strong, before sneaking into the granddaughters bedroom after deciding that he wasn't scared of the old man's torture tactics.

The next morning the man awoke, with a large 50 pound rock on his chest. The rock had a note that read "Chinese Torture Tactic #1: Large rock placed on chest." The man laughing at the "torture" simply picked up the rock and tossed it out of the window. The moment the rock left his hand he saw a second note on a second side of the rock that read "Chinese Torture Tactic #1: Large rock tied to right testicle." The man, panicking for only a moment decides to jump out of the fourth story window after the rock to avoid losing his manhood. The man throws his body out the window, reading a third note on the window frame as his body flies towards the ground: "Bed frame tied to left testicle."