A guy walks into a bar...

It's a really neat bar, clean, good music, but empty. Only the bartender is standing behind the counter.
So the man sits at the bar, orders a beer, and asks:

"Hey that's a really cool bar you got there, how come it's all empty?"
Bartender replies:

You see those tables? I made them. I cut the wood, shaped it, fixed it. You think people on the streets are saying "hey, that's Sam's bar, he made his tables himself"?
No. They don't say that.

You see that barstool you're sitting on? I made it. I cut the wood, shaped it, fixed it. You think people on the street are saying "hey, that's sam's bar, he's so perfectionist he made his stools himself"?
No. They don't say that.

...

But you f*ck a goat just ONCE...!