A guy goes to the bar for 1 beer on his birthday.

Its Jim's birthday and has a night planned with his wife. A buddy intercepts him and talks him into having 1 beer. Jim says OK, but only one, his wife will be waiting for him after all. 2 hours pass, and he hasn't lived up to his promice to his wife, he is shitfaced. Jim is getting ready to leave and his buddy forces him to have one more shot. Jim does the shot and immediately vomits on his shirt. His buddy has a great idea. " here's $20, slip it in your pocket and tell your wife a drunk threw up on you and gave you the money to pay for the shirt" .being drunk Jim thought it was a great plan.
When Jim gets home his wife is furious, " I knew you would get waisted and ruin our night."
Jim says ,no a drunk puked on me and ruined my shirt and gave my $20 for a new shirt. He hands her a wad of money. She says "if he gave yo $20 for your shirt, where did this other $50 come from? Jim says " oh that's from the guy who shit in my pants.

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