A guy calls in sick to his office

His boss says, "We need you here today Bob. We are working on the merger"

Bob says, "I know, but I'm really sick. I can't make it in"

The boss says, "Can you at least come in from 10-11 for the shareholder's meeting?"

Bob again says, "I can't. I'm really really sick"

The boss says, "Well, how sick are you?"

Bob says, "Well, right now, I'm fucking my 5 year old"

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