A gun nut and a pacifist walk into a bar.

The gun nut gets wasted, starts bragging about all the guns he has, rambling off a bunch of gun industry jargon about the special equipment he has for it, on and on, while everyone else in the bar rolls their eyes.

"I protect my house, ain't no one getting one over on me! You're lookin' at a real man right here! That's why I train from 4 to 5 every day after work down at the range."

The bartender asks, "So how does your wife feel about that, all those guns and the range training every day?"

The nut says, "Pfft, who cares? She just watches her stories, plays with the kittens, or whatever the hell she does while I'm out."

Then the bartender turns to the pacifist and asks, "Hey, buddy, do you know this guy? I notice you're never in here at 4 to 5 either. Do you go to the range too?"

The pacifist glares at the bartender, looks away, and whispers under his breath, "Shut the fuck up, dude. That's *her husband*."

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