A family is sitting at the dinner table... (nsfw)

The son asks his father,

Son: "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

Father: "well son, there are three kinds of boobs. When a woman is a teenager, her boobs are like apples, firm and round. When a woman reaches her 40's however, her boobs are like pears. Firm, but sagging a little. And when she reaches her 60's, her boobs are like onions."

Son: "onions?"

Father: "yes, onions. You see them and they make you cry."

Now the mother and the daughter are seething with anger at this point, and the daughter turns to the mother asking,

Daughter: "mom, how many kinds of willies are there?"

Mother: "well, a man goes through three stages. When he is a teenager, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and strong. When he reaches his 40's, his willy is like a birch tree, flexible, but reliable. When he reaches his 60's however, his willy is like a christmas tree."

Daughter: "a christmas tree?"

Mother: "yes, a christmas tree. Dead from the roots up, and balls that are there for decoration."