The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, understandably surprised, answers, "Well son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a women's breasts are like melons: round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears: still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
The daughter glares at her father and then asks, "Mom how many kinds of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and replies, "Well dear, a man goes through 3 phases. In a man's 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s to 40s it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?" asks the daughter.
"Yes," said the mother. "Dead from root to tip and the balls are just for decoration."
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