A census man comes to the Appalachia mountains

A man from the census, John, comes down from DC to go door to door to all the houses that didn't answer the census letters.

The first house he goes to is up on the mountain, a real backwoods place. In front of the house he sees a three-legged pig, and thinks this is very odd. A man opens the door, and answers all of John's questions.

John thanks the man for the time, and says, "I just have one question, what happened to that pig?"

The redneck thinks for a moment then says, "Well a couple years ago my house caught on fire, and that pig saved my life."

John: "oh, the pig lost his leg in the fire?"

Redneck: "No, hes just such a good pig, I'd hate to eat him all at once."

So John goes to the next house, down in a different part of the backwater town. He sees an old man and woman sitting on the porch. He goes up to the old man and asks his name.

"Almer. The old man says"

john was confused and asked again.

"Almer, E-L-M-E-R."

John: " Ohhhhh elmer! Ok.

He asks elmer the wife's name.

"Allen" he says.

John: "allen? well that's a weird name for a girl."

Elmer: "Allen, E-L-L-E-N"

john: " ohhhh, Ellen! Ok."

At that moment, Ellen stands up, the boards creaking under her wait. She had to go sideways through the door.

John leans over and whispers to elmer, "boy, she's so big she could play with green Bay's packers."

Elmer got real mad and said, "I don't care how big she is the only packer she's playing with is mine!"