He had spent his entire career working late hours at a stressful job for bosses he hated and decides to give it all up. So he buys a large ranch in central Montana and spends his days raising livestock, maintaining fences, engrossing himself in his new setting. For a time he is content, but weeks pass and loneliness begins to settle in. He feels isolated and begins to wonder if he made a mistake leaving the hustle and bustle of city life. But then, one day, he sees a billow of dust on the horizon. As he continues to watch, it becomes clear that a vehicle is approaching down his lengthy gravel drive at a tremendous speed. He waits, and within seconds a beat up Ford Ranger pickup truck races up to meet him and out jumps a hunched over, unwashed old timer, who extends a dirtied hand. "Yeeeeeeee-haw," exclaims the old man, with a grin that flashes all seven of his teeth, "Welcome to the neighborhood!! Pleased to meet ya! I'm throwing a welcomin' party at my place tonight and 'yer invited! There's gonna be drinkin'! There's gonna be fightin'! And, I tell you what, there's even gonna be screwin'!" The businessman's jaw drops; he's taken aback by the entire encounter, but recovers quickly and stammers his appreciation: "Wow, that sounds amazing! It's been so long since I've seen anyone! What can I bring?" The old man replies, "Well shoot! Bring whatever you want, it's just gonna be you and me!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.