A bartender is cleaning up for the night...

... And is just about to close when a stereotypical pirate bursts through the door. He saunters over to the bar, slams down a gold doubloon and says, " one bottle a' rum no questions asked" the bartender does as he says and the pirate downs it and leaves. The next night as he was cleaning up and was about to close, the same pirate bursts through the doors and repeats the events from the previous night, "one bottle a' rum no questions asked". This goes on for a full week until one night after the pirate finished his rum he said, "aye, ye been a good bartender and me ship's leavin port tomorrer morning so I will allow ye one question."

The bartender thinks for a while and says
" you know I was wondering about..."

"It's me eye isn't it?" The pirate says " I lost me eye in a sword fight with"

" no no it's not the eye it's the..."

" my leg! I lost my leg in the splinters of me past ship as it was going down in the storm of..."

"No no it's not the eye or the leg it's..."

" my hook! I swore on me mothers grave never to tell that tale but I will tell it to ye. I lost it fighting the Great. White. Wh..."

"NO NO NO. It's not the eye, or the leg or the hook! It's the giant F***king ships wheel IN YOUR CROTCH!"

"Aye that." Said the pirate, " it's drivin me nuts."