Socrates, Epictetus, and Descartes walk into a bar. Socrates goes up to the bartender first and the bartender asks him: "what's your poison?" Socrates say hemlock, takes a swig of some the bartender gives him and promptly dies. Next, Epictetus goes up to the bartender who asks Epictetus what he can bring him. Epictetus responds with: "It matters not, I will choose to like whatever you bring." So the bartender gets him a beer. Finally, Descartes goes up to the bartender. The bartender asks him if he can get him a beer like his friends, but Descartes says "I think not" and then disappears from existence.
TL;DR version: Socrates committed assisted-suicide by drinking hemlock. Epictetus had a whole "mind-over-matter" thing going for him so he could deal whatever life brought him. And, Descartes was the guy who said "Cogito ergo sum" (I think, therefore I am).
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