- When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
- During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
- He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
- He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
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