You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone over fifty told me my generation sucks...

I tried unlocking...

... but the keys kept getting jammed and i couldn't get it open. As i'm...

Three piss-drunk...

Three piss-drunk Irishmen, (Grady, Colin and young Danny) leave the pub one...

Ready to Go Home

There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged...

About the blind...

He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't.

Wanna hear why I...

cause they never get old

The vet told me...

"Oh God!" I said. "WHY?!" "Because my arms are getting tired."

I'm Rick Harrison...

this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss....

A guy sits down...

bartender gives him the drink, he takes out the two olives, puts them aside...

You're a redneck...

You're a redneck if .... You know which leaves make the best substitute for...

Why don't you eat...

You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?