Yeah, I carry a gun. You got to. You never know when some lunatic is going to come up and say ...

What do you call...

An author-dontist Wahey!

My impression Of...

....Lobotomy..... Loboto-u, eyyy.

I got arrested...

I was charged with child molassation

This happened in...

So we were reviewing vocab in my class, and we use this game website to...

There are lawyers...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin...

How did the...

How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!

What did the...

"I'm lichen what I see"

How to pick up a...

Me: Are you interested in having the best sex of your life? Her: No. Me:...

In General

A blonde is taking an interview, and the examiner is asking some general...

after watching...

they make that noise by rubbing their wings together