Ya know, working 3+ years in a pizza shop, I've grown to admire the comradery of pepperoni. Especially on these hot days.

I hope I die alone.

I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.

Have you ever...

Neither have they

Religion is like...

If it ends up on the internet you're entering a world of criticism

I've lost a...

We severed Thais

After the passing...

A dirty, old drunk came by and asked about the job. The director, not wanting...

What's the...

The scouts come home from the camp.

Vampire Holiday

Q: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? A: Fangs-giving!

Small World

A lawyer and a doctor are golfing. There are two women ahead of them that are...

Who teaches you...

A tutor :)

I always thought...

When he's spying: James Bond. When he's chasing tail: James Boned.