Women's English

"Yes" = No


"No" = Yes


"Maybe" = No


"I'm sorry." = you'll be sorry.


� We need" = I want


"It's your decision" = the correct decision should be obvious by now.


� Do what you want" = you'll pay for this later.


� We need to talk" = I need to complain


"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to.


� I'm not upset" = of course I'm upset, you moron!


� You're ... so manly" = you need a shave and you sweat a lot.


� You're certainly attentive tonight" = is sex all you ever think about?


� Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.


� This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.


� I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....


� Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!


� I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.


� Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.


� How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to
like.


� I'll be ready in a minute." = Kick off your shoes and find a good
game on TV.


� Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.


� You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.


� Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead.]


� Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep.


� I'm not yelling!" = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.