Why I Fired My Secretary

I woke up early feeling a little depressed, because it was my
birthday and I thought, "another year older," but decided to
make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I
went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss
and say, "Happy Birthday, dear."


All smiles I went into breakfast and there sat my wife reading
the newspaper as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself
a cup of coffee and thought to myself, "oh well, she just
forgot." The kids will be in a few minutes all cheers and they
will sing Happy Birthday and have a nice gift for me.


There I sat, enjoying my coffee and I waited. Finally the kids
came running in yelling, "Give me a slice of toast. I'm late.
And where is my coat? I'm going to miss the bus!" Feeling more
depressed than ever, I left for the office.


When I walked into the office my secretary greeted me with a
nice smile and a "Happy Birthday, Boss" and said, "I'll get you
some coffee." Her remembering made me feel a lot better. Later
in the morning my secretary knocked on my door and said since
it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together. Thinking
it would make me feel better I said that's a good idea.


So we locked up the office and since it was my birthday I said,
"why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country
instead of going to the usual place." So we drove out of town
and went to a little out of the way place. We had a couple of
martinis, a nice lunch, and started driving back to town when my
secretary said, "why don't we go by my place and I will fix you
another martini."


It sounded like a good idea since we didn't have anything to do
in the office anyway. So we went to her apartment and she fixed
us both a martini. After a while she said, "Will you excuse me,
I think I will slip into something more comfortable," and left
the room. In six minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came
out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and
all my kids and there I sat, with nothing on but my socks.