What Doctors Say

Here's a little list of "Doc-isms" - What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
You're crazier'n a loon. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...

"There is a lot of that going around."
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week?"
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
- or -
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.