What A Difference 31 Years Make...

1970: Wore long hair
2001: Longing for hair

1970: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high.
2001: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high yield mutual fund.

1970: Finding a friend to split the price of a keg.
2001: Finding a friend to take me to have an EKG.

1970: Sitting through sessions of Acid Rock.
2001: Sitting through sessions of Acid Reflux.

1970: Thinking of moving to a real kool place.
2001: Thinking of moving to a real warm place.

1970: News stories of people growing pot.
2001: The reality of growing a pot belly.

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my mother and sister.
2001: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my grown children.

1970: Trying to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
2001: Trying NOT to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.

1970: Chewing on seeds and stems.
2001: Chewing on lots of roughage.

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2001: Popping joints, needing those pills.

1970: Noting our president's struggle with Fidel.
2001: Noting our president's struggle with fidelity.

1970: Admiring JACK PAAR.
2001: Joining AARP

1970: Avoiding Killer weed.
2001: Avoiding Weed killer.

1970: Hoping to "get lucky" on a date.
2001: Hoping you won't catch anything from your "lucky" date.

1970: Reading about The Grateful Dead.
2001: Reading about Dr. Kevorkian.

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
2001: Getting a new hip joint.

1970: Listening to the Rolling Stones.
2001: Struggling with kidney stones.

1970: Yelling, "Screw the system!"
2001: Reminding yourself to, "Upgrade the stupid system!"

1970: Throwing the Peace sign.
2001: Watching the Mercedes logo.

1970: Friends who wouldn't get their hair cut.
2001: Children begging to get their heads shaved.

1970: Talking to friends about taking acid.
2001: Talking to friends about taking antacid.

1970: Proud to be passing the driver's test.
2001: Barely passing the vision test.

1970: "Whatever" was a typical response.
2001: "That Depends" is the way to go.