Jesus was a virgin. Everyone up in heaven wanted him to finally get laid. So St. Peter called a hooker and invited her to heaven. He told her to get inside an empty room. The apostles went to Jezus and told him to enter the room. Jesus was confused by this, but he went anyway. Several minutes passed, when suddenly a loud, ear-piercing shriek was heard throughout the home of God. Everyone entered the room and asked Jesus what happened.
- "I just saw a wound, I put my hand on it - and it healed!" - said enthusiastically Da Jesus
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