Viola Jokes

Viola jokes are jokes usually insulting violas and violists, since they are, generally speaking, the most unpopular instruments. Please forgive me if you are a violist, but truly, there are just some good ones out there. :P

Q: What is the difference between a viola and an onion?
A: No one cries when you cut up a viola.

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You have to take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
A: (1) The viola burns longer, (2) The viola holds more beer, and (3) You can tune the violin.

Q: A viola burns longer than a violin; that's common sense. But why can it burn longer?
A: It's usually still in the case.

Q: How do you get a violist to play pianissimo tremolando?
A: Mark the passage "solo".

Q: What is the definition of a minor second?
A: Two violists playing in unison.

Q: What is the definition of "perfect pitch"?
A: Someone throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Q: Why was the cannon invented?
A: Because two violists tried playing the same passage together.

Q: Why don't violists play hide-and-seek?
A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: What is the most popular recording of the William Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One