It was Friday night, and Mick and Seamus were trying to figure out where to go.
"I know!" says Seamus, "There's this great pub across town we ought to try."
"What's so great about it?" asks Mick.
"Well, when you first walk in the door, they give you a free drink. They you go upstairs for a free shag. When you get back downstairs, you can have another free drink. Then it's back upstairs for another free shag. You can go on all night, drinking for free and shagging your brains out - and on your way out the door, they'll give ya 50 quid!"
"Saints be praised!" said Mick. "That sounds fantastic! Have you been there before?"
"No - but me sister has!"
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