Two aliens are visiting Earth

They end up in the middle of Arizona, near an interstate highway, just next to a gas station. The first thing they see are the gas pumps. Thinking that the gas pumps might be sentient artificial life forms, the first alien goes up and says,

>"Greetings! We are visitors from planet Omicron Persei IV. Please take us to your leader."

Naturally, the gas pumps don't respond. A bit miffed, the first alien tries a different tact.

>"Hello and salutations, oh noble Creature of the Third Planet. We humbly request your assistance in making first contact with your leaders."

Still no response. And so the cycle goes a few more times, each time the alien becomes a bit more beseeching and a bit more annoyed. Finally, fed up with this non-response, the first alien pulls out his ray gun.

>"Please take us to your leader, or be immolated!"

At which point, the second alien immediately chimes in.

>"Uh, hey, you probably don't want to do that."

Ignoring the second alien, the first alien tries again.

>"You have to the count of three to say something. Anything!"

Second alien chimes in again.

>"Seriously man, let's just go, you don't want to threaten these guys."

Still ignoring the second alien, the first alien proceeds to carry out his threat.

>"One......... Two.......... THREE!" And the first alien pulls the trigger. Which results in a massive explosion. When the aliens come to in a crater some 1000 feet away, the first alien turned to the second alien.

>"Holy crap! These Earthlings are fearsome warriors! How'd you know? Have you visited them before?"

>"No, but I've been around the universe enough times to know that if someone has a penis long enough to wrap around itself, you don't want to mess with it.