In Indiana, a portable meth lab in a backpack was found in the bathroom at Walmart. In a related story, Walmart just got a great idea for a new product.
In Illinois, a shipment of avocados turned out to be filled with marijuana. Police say the seized marijuana has an estimated street value of about half of an avocado.
Also in Illinois, a woman shot her TV because her children were watching it too much. In the woman’s defense, her children were watching “Frozen.”
The government of China has demanded that the Dalai Lama reincarnate. If the Dalai Lama dies and refuses to come back to life, they’ll kill him.
An upcoming Star Wars novel will feature the series’ first gay character. I don’t want to reveal which Star Wars character is gay, but they come out by saying “Blow you, I must.”
In South Africa, doctors have performed the world’s first penis transplant. And somewhere else in South Africa, a very confused man woke up wearing a bloody diaper.
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