(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In New York City, Justin Bieber posed for a photo with cops after he picked up their check at a diner. The officers quickly posted the photo to social media, right after they cropped out Justin Bieber.
In Pennsylvania, middle school students were accidentally given a word puzzle based on “50 Shades of Grey.” Most of the sixth graders didn’t even notice the sexy puzzle, because they were too busy watching porn on their phones.
Facebook announced that users can designate a friend to run their page after they die. So expect to see Facebook posts like, “OMG, I would totally be craving Starbucks right now if I hadn’t been hit by that train.”
Bill Clinton has apologized to Mexico for the war on drugs. Clinton said he could’ve made a better decision about it, but he was really high at the time.
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