Hello again, /r/jokes! Lend me your eyes! It's time to recap the day's jokes so we can all enjoy some idiocy.
Starting off with some entertainment news. "Fast and Furious 6" opened up the box office gross with over $99 million. Most of the revenue was generated through Vin Diesel having to watch the movie 60 million times before comprehending the plot beyond his prior understanding of just "Car go fast vroom".
This is always interesting. A fragment of the Dead Sea Scrolls is now on sale. The fragment is a rare scripture in which Moses commands "Thou shalt not carve idolatrous images of God right now because he's kind of sensitive about this holy zit".
In the political sector, it appears that Donald Trump has already spent $1,000,000 on electoral research for 2016. He just wants to find out how many states will vote for a man who combs his hair with a glue stick.
Scary but ended up being okay, a large fire was safely extinguished on a Royal Caribbean Cruise ship with no injuries. Coincidentally, to avoid further disasters, Carnival cruises just charge all wildly-blazing deck fires to passengers under a "free range sauna" fee.
And lastly, Biden recently appeared on "Jeopardy!" - but it got kind of awkward when the clue was "Role of the Vice President" & Biden answered "Um... er what is to make sure I vacuum my Funyuns out of Obama's car?"
Stupid? Yes. Hope you liked 'em. If not, there will be more chances to evaluate. Trust me.
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