Topical Jokes 4/25

A man in India was caught trying to buy a stolen baby on Facebook. Apparently facebook was alerted by the abnormality because "the man was out of the baby's network", after he attempted to make the relationship 'Facebook official'.

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The 14th Dalai Lama says he would support a woman successor. Since the previous 13 reincarnations were all males, I guess someone got bored and fancies a sex change?

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Saudi Arabia reportedly deports three men for being 'too handsome', as they were found to be 'too irresistible to women'. Authorities said they were forced to take such extraordinary measures after attempts to wrap these men in burqas were met with swams of naked Saudi women offering their own burqas.

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NASA discovered 3 earth-like alien planet with physical constants suitable for life. Unfortunately they also discovered in each these planets a depleted resources base; regions of nuclear wastes, and remnants of a bygone civilization.

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Chinese men are now making love to statues in public, as part of a new internet fad. Meanwhile, legal experts warn that "it is 'statutory rape' as long as the entity is incapable of giving consent to the act".

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Apparently in Iceland there's a new app loaded with ancestry trees designed to avoid incests. Somehow, however, I think it's just another excuse girls use to reject me. Otherwise, all the more reasons to come up with new fake names now, guys.

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Stonehenge is now seeking a general manager to 'maintain dignity of stones' and 'speak with the Druids'. Well, I've heard that Fred Flintstone has been out of work and television for a long long time now....

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Smoke from the cremation of an 800-pound person alarmed neighboring residents. There were reports that the smoke smells curiously like bacon, barbecued ribs and roasted potato.