1) The "Sermon on the Mount" would be a musical.
2) Jesus would *never* wear white after Labor Day.
3) Priests would get married... wait a minute... never mind.
4) The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.
5) Mary's hair would be FLAWLESS.
6) The Temple would not have been cleansed of moneychangers, just re-decorated.
7) The water at the Wedding Feast of Canaan would have turned into dry martinis with just a splash of Curacao for color.
8) The Triumphal Entry just screams for a drag number.
9) Replace the "Beatitudes" with "Fabulous are they..."
10) The Last Supper would have been a brunch.
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