...dies and goes to hell.
The devil is walking him down the brimstone corridors, showing him around the place. "You know, Tom," he says, "just because you're in hell doesn't mean you have to stay here. You can go to heaven if you'd like... and sit on a cloud all day, playing the harp... if that's your idea of a good time."
Tom shrugs. "That sounds pleasant enough, I guess."
"But if you DO stay here," says the Devil, "let me show you what your fate will be."
He pulls back a curtain. Tom finds himself staring through a bedroom window at the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. She's stretched out on the bed, naked, and absolutely perfect from head to toe. Tom had been with hundreds of women, but none of them could compare to her.
A fat, ugly, sweaty, pimply ogre is making violent love to the woman, but Tom scarcely notices him, so captivated by her is he.
He turns to the devil. "Are you saying I'll get to do that... for eternity?"
"That's right."
"Then my mind's made up! No heaven for me. I'm staying right here!"
"Wonderful!" says the devil. He raps on the window. "Hey, Bruno! Get that chick out of there! I got a new playmate for you!"
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