TIL that the FDA has recommended a permanent ban on all shredded cheeses be put in place immediately.

Caller I.D.

Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common? A: They both have collar I.D.

Elephants

There are four elephants in a Volkswagon. How do you know when one went into...

A terrorist walks...

... "Hey have you seen the dude going around writing racist jokes about...

The Dalai Lama...

...and asks says, "Can you make me one with everything?"

Why is Iron Man...

Because to get him you have to rig-a-tony..

Moo!

A gay man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender if he could have a...

Today I threw my...

... Lazy good for nothing shoulder!!

Sneeze

A 6 year old was in a car with her parents. She kept having sneezing fits,...

Why can't you...

Because they weren't born yesterday.

Soul Mate

I've found the perfect lover, Who could ask for more? He's deaf, dumb,...