Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.

So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches and they head off. The trouble is the picnic site is 5 miles away so it takes them 5 days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Roy, give me the bottle opener." "I didn't bring it," says Roy. "I thought you packed it."

Mick gets worried, so he turns to Andy and asks "Did you bring the bottle opener?" Naturally Andy didn't bring it, so they're stuck five miles from home without a bottle opener.


Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches before he gets back. After an hour of them talking it out, Roy agrees to go back only if they promise they wont touch the sandwiches until he returns. They agree and so Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace.

10 days pass and Roy still hasn't returned. Andy and Mick, true to their word, don't touch the sandwiches. Another five days pass and Roy still isn't back. The two are really hungry now, but a promise is a promise and they leave the sandwiches untouched.

Finally, after another few days, the two can't take it any longer. "We have to eat them or else we're going to fucking starve," Mick says. Andy agrees and so they both take out a sandwich each. They're about to eat when all of a sudden Roy jumps out from behind a nearby rock and shouts:

"I fucking knew it! I'm definitely not going now!"

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