The first little person says, "I have pretty small feet, more so than anybody else I know. In fact, I think I could make the Guinness World Record for smallest feet."
The second says, "I have never met a grown man as short as I am. I think I'll go to apply with Guinness for the 'world's shortest man' award."
The third says, "Mine is better than both of yours. Do you see these hands? I bet you've never seen hands this small before. They're going right into the world records book."
They collectively agree to go to Guinness and request to be added to the book. The first man walks right into Guinness's building, proud and certain that he will get the record. He walks out and shouts triumphantly, "I got it! World's smallest feet!"
The second walks in after the first comes back, and a few minutes later he walks out. "I got it! World's shortest man!"
The third man walks in, even more confident than the first two. When he exits a few minutes later, he's *pissed*. He shouts, "Who the hell is Donald Trump?!"
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