The first guy is Italian, the second is a Jew, and the third is a homosexual. They all go to meet God, and God tells them, "you've lived good lives; I'll let you live on Earth awhile longer if you abstain from your favorite things."
To the Italian, he says, "You aren't allowed to talk with your hands, or you come back to heaven."
To the Jew he says, "you aren't allowed to pick up lose change, or you'll come back to heaven."
To the homosexual, he says, "you know what you can't do."
So the guys head pack and are looking to celebrate. The Italian guy runs home to his family, begins to tell his story, POOF. He's back in heaven. The Jew runs home, and sees a quarter on the ground. "Wow, my luck really is good today!" He bends to pick up.
The gay guy goes back to heaven.
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